The Boxie Breakdown

Tuesday March 27th, 2012

Sandra- Whoa are you okay?

BN- Yeah that’s nothing just watch the movie I’m good!

But I wasn’t…ya Sandra was the last girl that I was seeing, we dated for a brief period and were now at this point an “exclusive item”…I had been in her town that night meeting up with an old friend and had stopped by her place to drop off some dessert and to watch a movie (It was Our Idiot Brother, I had seen it in theaters but she said she wanted me to pick it up so I pretended I hadn’t seen it- bad move btw no matter how good a movie is if I’ve seen it I’ll probably wanna talk through the movie or do anything other than watching it a second time).  The movie began and suddenly I started having a sharp pain in my stomach, I had been having this pain on an off but i did what most (somewhat) immaturely stubborn dudes would do… I assumed it was fine and ignored it …anyways as the movie continued my stomach started almost groaning and making a wishy-washy sound.  Now, don’t worry I’m not telling a gross tale here of me having to use the bathroom because I didn’t have to it was just a weird recurring thing.  Sandra was growing increasingly worried about my stomach and told me I should probably go see a doctor about this problem and she was right.  As a matter of fact, I knew I was on borrowed, avoiding the doctor, time but I had the GRE’s coming up and so I was still trying to avoid the problem and just work around it in case it was a serious problem. 

Something you should probably know about me, I work three jobs for four of the five days during the week, most weeks I work 13 hrs a day during each one of the four days.  thus, it isn’t easy for me to simply call out of work or be sick because I can’t really afford to miss work as it leads to a messy sitch in which I need to call out of all of my jobs…not fun!.  Thus, the next morning while I was at work I had called to see when the next appointment I could make with the doctor and I was told Monday, April 2nd! Not awful all I needed to do now was sit in pain the rest of the week and get through one more weekend before figuring out what was wrong (Yes I had the GREs but hey at least Wrestlemania was on April 1st!).   Time past and on Friday I was reminded about a meeting I had on Monday that was all fancy and “can’t miss” so I had to push the appt back to Thursday.  I figured that if I could deal with the faulty stomach this long what would be the big deal if I waited another few days right?  Besides, Thursday would be great because I could figure out what was wrong before Friday, the next time I was seeing Sandra!  Biggity Bangity Boom and away we go everybody is happy…at least everyone was until Thursday!

Thursday started out like any other sick day for yours truly, I woke up at 7AM to call out of work and I explained to my boss I was taking the day off to finally get my stomach looked at, I was wished luck and I went back to sleep until 11:30 and then woke up to get to my appt at 12 (Don’t judge me! If  I have a rare day off I’m getting some sleep and if I have an appt anytime noon or ealrier, then I’m sleeping until the last possible second before the appointment). I remember there not being too many people on the highway and I was excited because I was actually going to make it there about 10 minutes early for my appointment (as opposed to my usual barely making it there exactly on time or even a minute or two late).  I was on the exit ramp about to make a right at a stop sign waiting to be able to merge onto oncoming traffic and it looked like I was shit outta luck until the light down the street was going to turn.  I noticed a car approaching from behind me and also noticed it wasn’t slowing down.  I thought, my lord if this car doesn’t slow down, she’s going to…CRASH!!!!….suddenly I felt like someone had hit me with a baseball bat to my lower back (WCW sting syle maybe?).

I immediately had two questions but couldn’t put them together…1) Shit what was that loud ass noice? and 2) Holy hell what the hell just happened to my back? The answers to both became obvious, I had been hit and hit hard!  Long Island we had a problem!

Tags: advice, Boxie Breakdown, Boxie Nigma, car accident, car crash, cars, Dating, desserts, injury, life, my idiot brother, paul rudd, rear ended, sick, work